you are so nice...

...you just love killing me dont you?....

还要多久 我才能在你身边

....how long...

confused

hmm...seriously im not scared of exams.but why am i getting this weird feeling that somethin'g not right.that something bad's gonna happen.i mean..examwise of course...cold feet?

hmmm...i dont know!

i could just die from being not able to figure out what's wrong.for some reason,im scared.but not that im gonna fail or anything.its something else... :'(

clearing cobwebs..

gosh.how long has it been since i've blogged.well.after continous daily begging from my fans..well..my one fan actually..haha..*slight bit exagerating*...hahah..i've found what to write about. ok.but 1st *dust dust here.dust dust there.clears cobwebs that surounds my blog*

hmm...EXAM...well..what do you expect me to write after that unholy 4 letters.everytime those 4 letters pop up in life...reactions repeat themselves...'omfg'..'die d la'...'how la wana study wei'..'fuck la..we're screwed la'...'sked la wei'...anything you guys wanna add?...hmmmm

well..for one...i have finally reached the point of my life..my 15 year old life...where i am no longer bound to the chains of fear when i hear those 4 letters. and no im not berlagaking or ssing that im smart.truth is,im not smart.i try to be.and that's a good thing.just because im in the first class..also a non braggy point...it doesnt mean i have the potential to get all As in everyting...it dosnt mean i am a pelajar cemerlang..fuck no to that...

everyday i go to school...i hear teachers blabber to us to get As 'or else'..and i see the fatal expression on my classmates face..trying to be a perfectionist when they dont actually realize it...the other day during seni class...my principal..whom after 3 years of knowing me still calls me MORGAN and not my actual non noobish name..continuedly praised our first girl..dashini...and i literally mean repeatedly praising her..asking-forcing students to beat her...and like take her as a role model...well..GOOD FOR HER PN DUMBASS...we're are not jealous,we're proud to call her our classmate and we're glad that in your eyes we will never be as good as her...well in my oppinion anyways...LISTEN TO ME...i have been through years of comparison..my whole life...i've been compared to those always better than me..in fact..i dont actually recall being praised for something that i know is good...

im not asking ya'll to take pity on me...im just asking you this...are you really..willing to be lock in fear,stress,worry when you are compared to people better than you..are you not pleased and satisfied with your best..the best you can give...?!

so im just wondering...why are you people...scared of exam results...or exams itself..??..after all these years i have finally realized something and i deeply hope it helps anyone of ya'll who read my blog..

no matter what result you get..even if you fail..that's the best you gave..NO do not say you did not feel like you gave your best...because you did..well unless you dont study la..anyway...dont worry about how your result we'll come out..you did your best.that's the best you can give.so please.be proud of what you achieved cuz you COULD HAVE gotten worse..but you did NOT..and NEVER ever let teachers or parents discriminate or condemn you cause of your marks..to THEM in their eyes...it was lousy..but dont care...its YOUR result..YOUR effort...its your best. and like..if they scold you, 'why get so low?'..'first class oso can get lidat r'...if you have the guts...i would encourage you to tell them..what you have been keeping in your heart..cuz i know MOST of ya'll have a lot to say to teacher because they misunderstand you..i am one of those victims..but you'tr scared cuz well..in school...they are God..or just seem to be..so if you have guts..tell them but NICELY AND RESPECTFULLY...if you dont dare to tell em..then tell yourself..that is most important..DO NOT let their words bring you down till you get scared again and kill yourself studying till you loose out on life and happiness.

been there.done that.fucking not going back.

if any of ya'll object what ive written.its okay.its just my oppinion and words from experience.so dont judge.

monday's my exam.i haven't study shit cuz i have no time. sorak,prs,shitloads..literally shitloads of homework,family probz..i am clearly screwed...BUT i will still be face to face with that exam paper..and not caring what will happen after it is in their hands..i will know i have gave my best because despite all this things keeping me occupied..i DID actually manage to study...so what i've studied,how much i've studied,although not much..what my result may be..will be my best (:

except for maths...i clearly DO NOT understand that crap..i actually broke down in class yesterday because i had no idea what the teacehr was scribbling and blabbering away...now the only thing im scared of exams is..when im facing that paper..deciding which answer and how to do it...NOT knwing which will be right..for each answer you write leads to what result you'll get..so im only scared for not knowing how to do so im technically increasing my chance of low marks..but hey..my best will be my best (:

I died again..

title pretty much says it all...

(:

你永远不会改变...你是我的forever and ALMOST always

你永远不会知道我的感觉,我将永远爱你，但你??

这样的故事接着下来的水草而居的道路

它是一种对变化的一个我被告知

虽然它并不相同，其可怕关闭

在一个普通的童话土地

有一个幸福的一个完美的结束承诺

而我想刚刚的，短期

是聊胜于无

所以，你将永远是我的，几乎总是

我会被罚款时，只要你爱我可以

我会耐心等待，我会每天醒来

只是希望你还是在意

在我心中我的角落深知

我应该得到肯定，即使是最好的

但不要离开我只是把睡觉的问题

进出我的头

正当我相信

你已经改变了良好的

你去证明我错就像我知道你会

当我用完了第二次机会
你给我看看

and你脱身

因为你是我的,永远和几乎总是

没有,这是不对的

只爱我,当你想爱我

我不打算耐心等待

因为我知道我的心,最终只会像往常一样破碎

 我不会每天醒来，只是希望你还是在意

但是...

为了一些奇怪的原因 

 我无法离开你

不管你有多少伤害了我

我无法离开你

为什么?

我不知道你是否有同样的想法和我一样

如果你有,那么好,我很欣赏

但为什么

你的行为,它像推我走开

你为什么一直在推着我离开?

你可以否认

但你的行动,不

还是..

你不再爱我了?

你对我的感情...变了??

 这并不是说你作为一个男朋友不够好

或在这种情况下,只是朋友

我将永远爱你，无论什么

我会留在你身边

爱你不停止

即使这意味着受伤害

我只希望

当你醒来，实现后

不会太迟...

Forgive me if i have sentence errors people..

i have decided to EMO all my post in CHINESE!i heart you translator! :)
red n bold = importanto

gosh...i have just re-translated everything back to english..terible terible english...tsk tsk tsk

when you're fifteen...

haha okay..so today's my birthday..yea i dont know what to do either when people sing me happy birthday..so today during recess...gosh...totally unexpected wei..i was touched..like...not in the physical way..the emotional way...i walked in..and there was this square-ish bday cake..you know the one that's suppose to be at actual parties and not in school cause you just cant finish it...haha..yea..i kinda wanted to cry but like..didn't..just held it in..Becca and Goh and like..the gang..they splited the money to buy it..so like.oh cmon...if you're a girl..how can you not be touched by the fact you have such awesome and lovely friends...so like..like any shy person..i stood there like a dumbass...a blushing dumbass...so here's what i wish for..i dont really mind sharing..'i wish these people right here right now,will be life long friends and be cherished always and never forgotten'...haha..ok so like..after the song..ucap2 la..dipaksa mia...a mere thank you ni la..so..*blow*..THANK GOD they did NOT shove my head straight into the cake..cause i sooooo knew they were gonna do it..that...and also cause they told me la..LOL..anyway...in the end i actually end up serving my friends and akaks the cake la and like not really eating it...haha...and oh..you're gonna love this...Asyatul...she started a cake fight..basically in other words is bullying the bday girl by smearing cream all over her face....yea...thanks asya-.-...haha..juz kiding..it was fun wei so..thanks wei =D..yea..was kinda crazy day for me..end up looking like a dude cuz like i had to wash the cream out of my hair..so just...yea..i look like a dude...haha..k gtg guys..homework..urgh...

special special thank you to : dinie adlina,goh yen wei,rebecca shamini,janusyia,jocelyn,asya,swarna,vekha,vivian,stephanye,ceci and the rest of my beloved 300 family..and akaks...love ya'll so so so much and thank you soooo much...deff a day to remember.. (: