hi dusty old blog

heyooo dusty blog..damn how long has it been..haha okay..so imma just blahhh out whats happening in ma life.

1. school-wise :
- teachers are shitty as always, why is it that the teachers i like always go away :( the trainee teachers who are ACTUALLY understanding and nice. anyways i just avoid the ones that are socially retarded and craze about As As As and not their students self esteem. i get out of their way,do my work,they back off. if they dont..hmmm...sons of bitches. how ironic that todays mothers day. HAAAHS!
- folio palooza...hmmm...cant complain la but ISH..teachers just make things worse although i do appreciate their help. i hate people who hover around me.

2. famile-wise :
- okay i guess. same old same old. not gonna write bout it anyways if there are probz.

3. friendship-wise :
- BEYOND AWESOME!!..i just love these people so much..they are DA BOMB!..hah..lols..yessh i do still use words like BOMB..lol..but not in the lame way like how others do. I LOVE these people cuz they rock ma world. kudos mishie nie lynn jess yumiz joey!! you guys r-r-r-rawk.

4.love-wise? : p.s - im being a total chic here..with girl feelings.
-bet you people have been waiting for this huh..lols..ehm..well..this gonna be long i guess..so idk read if you wana,leave if you wana :) im just expressing =)..uhm..i guess..im confused..yea...this part of my life is called...getting sucked back slowly into the spider's web.

my spiderman - my 15. hmmm..ex spiderman :(

hmmm..i dont talk much bout him to my bestie cuz i know she'll just scold me..ive got nothing much to say anyways. cept for now. she's intoducing new guys to me cuz to her that could probably be the only way to help me get over him but hmmm....i want him. even though he can be a real shmuck. sometimes i do wonder what if...

i do love him and i wanna be with him..so so so much (: 

BUT i dunno..after the times he's hurt me..

im scared...

im scared to even look at him...
well not scared la..pfft..he soooooooooo does not scare me. haha
but

cuz now..i no longer see the guy i fell in love with..

i see the guy who hurted me so bad..

i no longer trust my heart. he's never been on the receiving end,so i guess..he'll never know how i felt,hence...he wont ever change. hmmm :( forbidden love?? lols. i dunno. alicia says..i gotta value my myself more..he doesnt deserve me..sometimes i do think thats true..she says that he's never gonna change cuz he knows that i'll always be there in the end..i guess thats true..ali's like uber awesome..haha..thats her fave words..uber awesome..LOL..so yea...=/

it sucks

that the only person who can make you happy

is the one who hurted you so badly.

worst part is..

he doesnt know how

i dont blame him cuz hmmm...he's only had one ex..and im not being proud here..just..i guess i have a bit more experience than him..i like the fact that he's trying though. and yea i do appreciate it ;) but..hmmm...

despite his flaws...he's golden in some ways that nobody understands but me.=DDDD ily but ISH cuz everytime i say ily there will be an ISH behind it. get me? hahaha..nemind..ily 15 but now..i dont know anymore..like..i dunno how i feel anymore..

on the plus side..haha im married to nicky! lols..chillex peeps..its just for fun,like we just wanna see how people react...its lame but ha! fun.

yeps thats all. taz ;)