Bickering leads to Breaking

hmm...i was watching 'Good Luck Chuck' when my mum..being her usual this-is-my-house-i-own-you way..haha..i exagerated...hogged the remote...haha ok..before i stray from topic..it was at that irritated moment 9.48 p.m ...i had a sudden like..inspiration cmon...like..just something ticked off in my brain...and that lil something..had to do with boyfriend-girlfriend bickering...and like..why do they bicker...and in most cases..we all know..bickering eventually leads to breaking too much bickering..leads to breaking...but what i don't get is...is it normal in a relationship to not bicker...and by the way for those who are slow..bickering = fighting/arguing ...

So..this is what i came up with..and no im not an expert on relationships...so dont be coming to me like im Dr.Hitch...i just...like to put what i think about in writing.I express myself better in that way.

Ok, so like..in what i've observe..like my friends relationships...and like..one of my friend..she was like...whenever her boyfriend hurts her..intentionalyl or unintentionally i don't know..she wouldn't like..tell him...
A.she didnt wanted to hurt him (which is so similar to me..fagot-.-)
B.she was SCARED that like..THEY MITE GET INTO A FIGHT and eventually break up (notice how caps lock and red ink is used..lol)

So...that really caught me on hold..not the 'jaga-hati' part...that's old school...so...we talked...i asked her and she was like..

'cause i know how arguing can change the..condition?..of a relationship...i've seen how cuoples argue and what they argue about and eventually thay just break up..someway or another...it will..but sometimes when you don't fight in a relationship..there's gotta be something wrong..'

...she was being so pro-type on how relationships work...so ok,i just went with it resisting laughter...but i LOL'd inside...didn't wanted to like..spoil the atmosphere of her ss-ness...on how 'pro' she thot she was..haha..but i guess she can be considered pro since she's...15?..haha..no way

Anyway...that kinda got me wondering...If a guy hurts you,and you're to whimpy to tell him cause you're scared it might jeapordize the happiness of your relationship..or more specifically(which i know ya'll don't dare to admit)..his happiness...then..what's the point of being in a relationship if its him you think for and not you..ok you might not get what i just wrote...the example below is somewhat mroe clearer...

'sex in the city' so inspired me with this question...'when you're in a relationship...does it mean  putting his name and his needs and his happiness before your own?'...and yet..i cant seem to find the answer..and what's worst...the movie doesn't give the answer..it only gives the question leaving me spazing in a daze and stressing my brain...haha.okok..out of topic..but the question is similar to what im trying to say

So like..

if people don't bicker in a relationship and just keep their sad depressing thoughts to themselves = BAD
and...
if people bicker in a relationship to not cage their sad and depressive emotions = BAD(cause it leads to fights)
then...
where's the GOOD?

meaning...

 

when a guy hurts you..

what's the best way to avoid a fight with him and at the same time not having to hurt yourself just to prevent jeapordy in a relationship....

I'm no Dr.Hitch...but i would suggest a few..techniques??

1. maintain/construct and open minded but NOT TOO OPEN MINDED relationship...too open minded as in...your man has sex with/kiss a slut and your cool with it...BIG NONO...(again...caps lock comes in handy^^..)

2.try talking and not accusing...this is as i know...a very common thing in a females..just ask my mother-.-

3.avoid bickering as often as possible...let the small matters slip

4.no fighting in a relationship is NORMAL....its weird and unusual but its BEST...dont simply pick a fight with your boyfriend just cause you think its not normal to not fight...simple fights will do..like what movie you wanna watch...hehe

5.don't be angry...keep your cool ladies...unless you have hard evidence that your dude has hurt/cheated on you..then confront...like i said..NEVER ACCUSE...and if the reason your guy gives you isnt good enough...tell him..you want to believe/forgive him but somehow you just cant....and if he truely really likes you...he'll find a way somehow to convince/apologize more to/pujuk you and NOT pull the guit trip on you..'dont you love me??y wont you believe/forgive me?'..or...'fine!!don't belive..up to you'...

well..that's all my brain can come up with...im not an expert..im only 14....but if you think what i just wrote above might help...then..feel free to use it^^...keep in mind the...im not an expert part...haha....k...bye :)