Bickering leads to Breaking

hmm...i was watching 'Good Luck Chuck' when my mum..being her usual this-is-my-house-i-own-you way..haha..i exagerated...hogged the remote...haha ok..before i stray from topic..it was at that irritated moment 9.48 p.m ...i had a sudden like..inspiration cmon...like..just something ticked off in my brain...and that lil something..had to do with boyfriend-girlfriend bickering...and like..why do they bicker...and in most cases..we all know..bickering eventually leads to breaking too much bickering..leads to breaking...but what i don't get is...is it normal in a relationship to not bicker...and by the way for those who are slow..bickering = fighting/arguing ...

So..this is what i came up with..and no im not an expert on relationships...so dont be coming to me like im Dr.Hitch...i just...like to put what i think about in writing.I express myself better in that way.

Ok, so like..in what i've observe..like my friends relationships...and like..one of my friend..she was like...whenever her boyfriend hurts her..intentionalyl or unintentionally i don't know..she wouldn't like..tell him...
A.she didnt wanted to hurt him (which is so similar to me..fagot-.-)
B.she was SCARED that like..THEY MITE GET INTO A FIGHT and eventually break up (notice how caps lock and red ink is used..lol)

So...that really caught me on hold..not the 'jaga-hati' part...that's old school...so...we talked...i asked her and she was like..

'cause i know how arguing can change the..condition?..of a relationship...i've seen how cuoples argue and what they argue about and eventually thay just break up..someway or another...it will..but sometimes when you don't fight in a relationship..there's gotta be something wrong..'

...she was being so pro-type on how relationships work...so ok,i just went with it resisting laughter...but i LOL'd inside...didn't wanted to like..spoil the atmosphere of her ss-ness...on how 'pro' she thot she was..haha..but i guess she can be considered pro since she's...15?..haha..no way

Anyway...that kinda got me wondering...If a guy hurts you,and you're to whimpy to tell him cause you're scared it might jeapordize the happiness of your relationship..or more specifically(which i know ya'll don't dare to admit)..his happiness...then..what's the point of being in a relationship if its him you think for and not you..ok you might not get what i just wrote...the example below is somewhat mroe clearer...

'sex in the city' so inspired me with this question...'when you're in a relationship...does it mean  putting his name and his needs and his happiness before your own?'...and yet..i cant seem to find the answer..and what's worst...the movie doesn't give the answer..it only gives the question leaving me spazing in a daze and stressing my brain...haha.okok..out of topic..but the question is similar to what im trying to say

So like..

if people don't bicker in a relationship and just keep their sad depressing thoughts to themselves = BAD
and...
if people bicker in a relationship to not cage their sad and depressive emotions = BAD(cause it leads to fights)
then...
where's the GOOD?

meaning...

 

when a guy hurts you..

what's the best way to avoid a fight with him and at the same time not having to hurt yourself just to prevent jeapordy in a relationship....

I'm no Dr.Hitch...but i would suggest a few..techniques??

1. maintain/construct and open minded but NOT TOO OPEN MINDED relationship...too open minded as in...your man has sex with/kiss a slut and your cool with it...BIG NONO...(again...caps lock comes in handy^^..)

2.try talking and not accusing...this is as i know...a very common thing in a females..just ask my mother-.-

3.avoid bickering as often as possible...let the small matters slip

4.no fighting in a relationship is NORMAL....its weird and unusual but its BEST...dont simply pick a fight with your boyfriend just cause you think its not normal to not fight...simple fights will do..like what movie you wanna watch...hehe

5.don't be angry...keep your cool ladies...unless you have hard evidence that your dude has hurt/cheated on you..then confront...like i said..NEVER ACCUSE...and if the reason your guy gives you isnt good enough...tell him..you want to believe/forgive him but somehow you just cant....and if he truely really likes you...he'll find a way somehow to convince/apologize more to/pujuk you and NOT pull the guit trip on you..'dont you love me??y wont you believe/forgive me?'..or...'fine!!don't belive..up to you'...

well..that's all my brain can come up with...im not an expert..im only 14....but if you think what i just wrote above might help...then..feel free to use it^^...keep in mind the...im not an expert part...haha....k...bye :)

Runaway

hmm...isnt it surprising that how one could give such powerful advice to others ( chehh wahh...ss-nye aku..haha)..and yet she can't seem to follow her own advice?..and despite the fact that all my problems are over..burried deep down within me..its so fucking cruel that i have the scars to remind me that the past was real..scars a.k.a flashbacks...everytime i get these flashbacks..like they just come to me..in dreams or something..there's a stingy feeling in my chest where my heart is..and i just alienate myself from the person who caused em..and its not nice...for me or that person...i don't always get these flashbacks...but time to time..they just don't seem to go away..and when i dream about em..like when they come to me in my dreams..it just hurts and pisses me off to see that i was in that stage of sadness and there was no cure..or a potion..or a prince charming that could save me then.

Sure i've heard many 'im sorries'...and its ok..i forgive as usual..but sometimes..sorry is but a word..it doesn't erase all the pain and the sadness away...the most we can do is hope that..everything will be okay eventually..im not saying im sad now..im happy...being the usual me..and i don't expect anything from him to help it go away cuz he cant...its within me to make it go away and i just haven't figure out how yet...cuz...



When you have scars to remind you..its not that easy to forget...you know...the pain is gone..deffinetely gone...the wounds heal day by day...but the scars stay...almost forever...you carry that memory for the rest of your life...its a dramatic way to look at it but its true.


And the worst part is...when you try to make an effort to make it go away..like...not thinking bout it at all...it doesn't go away but keeps coming right back. I just don't know what to do, and i don't think there's anything i can do about it..just gotta endure it...cause..pretty much nobody can help it go away too...

Now...I can't help it if I spaze in a daze.My eyes tuned out the other way.I may switch off and go in a daydream.In this head my thoughts are deep.But sometimes i can't even speak.Will someone be and not pretend,I'm off again in my world.My small little unable-to-runaway world,flooded with flashbacks off what used to be and paranoid thoughts of what could have been.

Life is such a bitch when you can't runaway.

=D han yu ping ying comes in handy

ok..for security purposes...^^...cuz i dont have the software..chinese star...so...im just gona use han yu ping ying to taip the words out..so like..cuz most of ya'll...my readers...all know hua yu right...so...i dont think its a prob...but gona be complicating gak la..haha..so just try to figure it out...

ok,zhe ji tian...wo jue de...hao xiang yi dian de guai(di 4 sheng) e xia...like..jui jing ne..wo you hen duo de flashbacks...yi qian TA shang wo de shi hou...ni men dou zhi dao wo shua de TA shi shui(di 2 sheng) ba??...wo ye bu dong wei sheng me...zhi shi...like...ru guo...wo men hai zhai yi qi...xian zhai la...i would be like hao xiang...you yi zhong pa pa de gan jue...wei she me ne??...okok...ni men xiang2 kan...ru guo ni men de nan peng you...dui ni hao xiang wo yi qian de nan peng you dui wo...ni men de xin dan ran hui hancur dui bu dui like how mine was??..ok..so..ni men bincang2 etc le...ran hou,he hao le...couple hui(di 2 sheng)...ni men shi bu shi hui you na zhong ke pa de gan jue..like..you'll be scared...ta hui hancurkan ni de xin duo yi chi....ming bu ming bai r??..like you'll be extra careful that you wont go back there again ryte..so thats what im saying la...wo de flasbacks shi lk...wo shi pa ta hui shang wo duo yi chi(altho wo men dou fen le...like wo shi imagine ru guo wo men mei you fen hui zheng yang..ni men bi xu zhi dao..wo hai ai ta....but shi rumit la wo men de story..)....that's why wo hui you shi...shang xin...but then..zhe shi...no cure de....yin wei...'to forget' shi bi jiao nan...ru guo gen 'to forgive' bi....so...aizzzz....xi wang you ren neng bang wo...smetin lk recover xia ba...bang wo ba na xie bad memories gei ta wang diao...yin wei..im done shang xin le....

haha...ok...so lk...i tried my best to recap what i've learnt in dos 12 years of chinese-ed...in 2 years time i can 4get so much crap d...bt nemind la..i tried...i hope you guys who know han yu pin ying..know what im writing...and to those who aren't supoz to read this...you know who you are...muahahahahha...n you know y im torturing your kepoh ass by nt leting u read dis post...bluek bluek bluek bluek...ehehehehhe...chehaha...im a notty lil gal...get use to it  :)

November blues

lately..the november air has been deseased with...november blues-syndrom....myself included...my best frenz included....people come and go.....its really sad how one looses a loved one...i've seen people mourn over loved ones...granparents,friends or relatives.....i don't know if i'm considered lucky or unlucky not to have to mourn over a loved one...yet...i know i don't want to...i mean who wants to right...but hey...at least you guys have had memories with em right...

like for example...

grandparents....recently my best friend's grandpa passed away..*sobz2*...and so did my other friends relatives...of course ya'll are gona be sad...very sad...but think...would they be happy to see you sad like that??..HELL NO...they would want you to live your life and not mourn cuz its their time to pass on...just remember....they're going to a better place...God wants em home...so what you can do is...

a. smile...they've gone to the land of milk and honey...where God is.....is where there's no sadness
b. cherish those memories you had with em (you guys should feel lucky you have any...i never met my grandparents before...my dad said i did...but i cant remember...both grandparents from both sides died...way before i could even say abc...so...cherish em u guys)
c.whatever they've thought you...like advice etc...cherish it,learn from it...even small lil words can chnge your life

k next....

friends,teachers etc etc etc....if they leave you...like im not saying passing away la...just like...if they transfer or migrate or in teachers case...stop teaching you(btw,you so know this section of da blog aplies to you!!!..>.<)...its similar to the above...yes you'l be sad but just cherish the memories and teachings that they gave you...n move on...even if it hurts...there's always something call TRY...

im not sure if this makes sense...but my dad inspired me...
try : T - to
       R - regain
       Y - yourself

hmmm.......... :(

hmmm...my emotions are kinda out of control lately....i dno if its mood swings...i highly doubt...its just....a depressing feeling kind of thing..can't really put my finger on it...it s depressing feeling but im not depress...weird ey?....hurrrrmmmm....its just like....im loosing the tendancy to care bout anything....yea something like that...but rest assured...im not emo or whatever....lol...hmmmm....

i dno...its just like....i get a feeling that almost everyone around me is leaving...not avoiding...just leaving....saddening no?

in reality...it may seem like they're leaving for a short period of time...but to you...its...different...

:(

hmmmm...when im like sad...or just weird...emotionallly...haha...i listen to acoustic music.....it kills...but smehow...its adictive...lol...

that's random...but nemind..take it as general knowledge to get to know me better...my readers....

december...hmmmm.....   :(   

My December

hmmmm...just so you know...im bored...that's why im only writing this...probly in reality i wouldn't obey half the stuff on this list....chehahaaha...but like most of the IMPORTANT MONEY SPENDING ONES...il bribe my parents or smetin so i can b an obediant lil list follower...^^...hey...its a good thing k..learning to be responsible to something...chehahahaha...^^

In KL :
- drag tim to go out with me...surian and marcus can tag along to...surian can be the tour guide...il be his assistant...tim and marcus can b the pelancongs...well...dey r...i xnt b the touguide...i get sesat walking around a small taman.....  =(
- drag tim to buy stuff for me...he owes me
-buy stuff for tim...i owe him
-bond with marcus....hmmmmm...
-bond with sheila....hmmmm...
-do not let tim forceful feed me...
-forceful feed tim
-make his mp3 mine
-get a canon camera
-avoid bra shopping with my mum
-avoid spending too much money    :'(
-never spend your own money
-spend aunts money ^^
-just joking
-maybe
-that was random
-im always random
-nevermind
-spend less in KL...monster it in bangkok



In Bangkok :
-don't get human trafficked
-get good reception..i need sms
-do not eat what most thai people eat...BUGS
-eat things that dont move
-shopping with sheila and aunts = parasitism...chehahaha...jk
-bonding with sharon...nice
-hmmm...im out of things
-will add when i think of any
-bye

emerge :(

again...i let emerge slip by this year...i ditched it for a concert last year n this year...i missed it again..-.-....i was in kl on thursday...emerge was on friday..wtf...i cudv like...stayed back one day...but...hurrrmmm...being a good gal to be...what to do..got sch...=.=....school sucks....bt friends rule...chehehahaha.. :)