i have a confession peeps about TA...han yu ping ying rocks!! :)

ok..i have used mandarin to blog before and we both know what its about yea??..haha..i love chinese but i fucking hate it as well..well..not as much as i despice maths...hee..ok anyway...lai wo men kai shi ba!!

hmmmm... :( ...zhui jing ne..wo hen under pressure leh...if not from the teachers...den shi..from wo the feelings for ta looo...haha...by the way..i just realized the way i typed..its soooo CHINESE!!..urrrghh...english despices me for that..haha...anyway...oh yea...the other day...i received this letter..like only 50 students received this letter..turns out to be like..sasaran tmgs la..for only 50 chosen ones to get straight As...oh f@rk em la...juz cause im in the 1st class doesnt mean im an egghead...anyway..ooo yea yea..chinese..haha..jiu shi lo...A.shi ying wei zhe jien shi..wo zhen de zhen de hen under pressure..like...till the point where i might hit someone..hahaha..no la...juz kiding...anyway..i think zhe jian shi..yin gai shi deal-able la...i mean..passed year form3s dealt with this shit right..so..hopefully God will guid me...

ok..ling wai jian shi..shi guan yu TA..ni men zhi dao shi shui dui bu dui..haha..gosh..cant believe my chinese getting shittier...till the point where i have to speak it formally...anywaay..ta ne..jiu shi na ge K de..shui ran wo men fen la..tapi...its complicated wei..haha..wo men uhmm...hu xiang da ying..haha..wait..got hu xiang da ying zhe ge zhi ma??..haha..oh well..deal with it la..hehe..so..wo men hu xiang da ying to wait till wo the pmr wan..ran ho jiu couple hui..hurrrmm...tapi...bak kata pepatah english...haha..but il say it in chinese...hehe...ren shi hui huan/gai bian de...either one la..same meaning..ren hui change..even if it sounds shitty to think about now..its the true fact..no matter how much you justify it NOW...time is in God's hands...so...wo jiu shi like...dan xing..someting like that la..ta hui ubah hati...so like..wo bu yao loose ta..tapi..when wo gen ta zhai yi qi de shi hou..wo jue de la...ta shi gen ben de mei you apreciate wo..shui ran ta hui shuo oh wo ai ni bla3...tapi...ta de action ne??..ok la...you shi ta shi hao de...tapi ta ling shi ling shi hui change de..and when ta change...im always the one that will have wo de xin broken...and the worst part wei OMG..haha..ta gen ben bu hui realize...like o my gaaaawd...like wo need to gao shu ta,jie shi gei ta..chai hui xing(di 2 shen) de wor...hurrrmm...advice wo ba jie jie-yean san,sook fang etc...hehehe...wo yin gai zhen yang like..get rid of zhe ge feeling..i dont wana screw my fm3 like how i did form 2...but at the same time..wo zhen de hen hen hen hen hen xiang gen ta zhai yi qi...but ta shi ge ASS!!..sometimes la..haha..even the smallest slightest thing that ta zhuo de dou hui shang dao wo but i dont know how to gao shu ta...its  not like i can go up and say...'oh hi,ni shang le wor dao hen teruk teruk till the extend i want to kill a squirell...ok sooooo how was your daaaaay?? =D'...no right..its not that easy...so like...hurrrm...wo just yao ta to apreciate wo and maintain it..but...i guess..God doesnt give people everything they want if its not in His plan right...?...hurrrmmm...

sign~
wat do do wat to do..fink fink fink...tink tink tink...fink tink fink tink..hurrrmm... =/

the dream is dead..on the plus side...it was fun

yea..im sooooo not long distance runner material...it was humiliating...running for like...till the count of 10 and stop...^^"...but i SWEAR....if i had my mp3 with me...i might actually be in the mood and sprinted....ehehehe....well...congrats to lets see...vee wen my jie jie(#15),naomi(#4),sylvia(#2),nad(#12),nora(#5),stephanye(#1-fuuuyooooh!!) and more that i forgot...hehehe...anyways...congrats to ya'll medal grabbing thieves..haha..kiding!!..congrats guys...xD

anyway...my legs are officially jelly-fied...hurrmm...dum-dee-dummm-dummm....lets see..what about today..besides the heart-burning 2km+ run...yea i got into a fight with my mum..nothing interesting bout that..wasnt really a fight..was more like..a mother-daughter squabble...but i was still pissed though...best cure hit me when i jump into the arms of my palatypus-alligator-like doll...haha...SLEEP!!...heheee

yea..today was boring..no doubt tomorrow will be boring-er...hurrrmm...i hate that my tuition's at 10.30...church doesn't end till...11+...eeeeek!!!...>.<....

yea i got nothing to blabber about today..sowwwiiiee...so..sleeptite and tata..dont fall from your bed now :)

*chants to self repeatedly* tomorrow will be a good good day

saturdaysaturdaysaturday a.k.a the day i've been waiting 2 weeks for eagerly since school started...for once..EAGERLY waiting...merentas desa 8.30am....woot! so cant be bothered to stay back for the award ceremony...because

a. i have tuition (for ONCE...im ACTUALLY eagered to go...once you've reach form 3 science...PMR wont be the only reason you wana go for science tuition...if you know what i mean *winks3*...hahaha...ey3...its not called perverted k...i DO actually like science n NO not cause the teacher let us watch porn just to demonstrate...anywaaay...before letting the 'yeers' and 'eews' loose..consider the fact that in say two-er odd years time...you will be the one having a boner in your jeans by the time you even reach puberty you horny lil hobit) and yes...i know most of you people wont get what i just crapped in the bracket part..but nemind..move your attention to point B.

b. cause im most likely not the one getting the medals...i am fast i gotta brag..hahaha...but not that fast enough to win something...so..what's the point of running your heart out and staying back for something you know you can never get...(i have such low self-esteem in competitions...eek! >.<..)

yea that's probly it...1.be a nerd...2.dont risk humiliation nation...

anywaaay...since i have nothing else that's interesting...i shall blabber about my day to someone who might actually read this...or to someone who gives a damn bout a 15 year old blabbery-mouthed girl who despices her school's disiplinary upgraded system that in the not so distant future will help disiplin any of the students of tmgs but on the plus side...she's saying please read but not to the person she doesn't want her blog to be read by and you know im talking bout you spy! nevermind...you wont understand what i just wrote because you wont get me...YOU DONT KNOW ME...hehehe which i gotta is the most awesomest and probably the only interesting book i've ever read in my 15 year old life besides the twilight saga.

anywaay...my day..hurrmm...ooooo!!,,okok!!...i got it....

Refleksi Diri ( probably the only thing that was on hold in the hands of a little cute doodle sitting in a swirling chair handling the control center a.k.a my brain)

ok...so like..as you know...everyone has a skill...a talent..naturally borned with it or not..who cares...you have something that belongs to you..something that you might just be able to use it in your future to buy you a house or in some disgusting cases...a wife...dont be surprise if its a moneysucking dumb blonde...hehehe...

ok..so most of my friends i know..have natural/learned talents...i'l list em down

zhen - dancer

joaan - dancer

andrew - perfect pitch

aivan - music

alden - brains and music

relwin - swimmer and slightly failed breakdancer but...ok..improving

kevin - likewise

esther - brains and swimmer

swee ling - art

lokey - acting,singing,musician (triple threat)

joana - singing

bro - art

dennis - counseller,drama,pianist

and loads loads more...and like...its so obvious that they stand out in something and people recognise them for it..for example...observe the story/conversation below :

the following scene happened in the school that is not my school...it is an anti-school...a school is suppose to be a fun learnign environment where free spirited young ladies such as myself are actually allowed to be themselves...but no...this is an anti-school...a place where girls are chained to idiotic rules such as - tucked hair behind your ears or you will be suspended...so as you can see..the situation takes place in an anti-school...a place where such freedom doesn't exist...

miss. botox-equals-the-next-SKII : hey you little midget..who is hong zhen?

little midget is thinking : you horideous headed buffaloe with no expression whatsoever...i bet if you're imaginary husband died due to a heroin overdose just like your daily overdose of botox...you wud show now sign of sadness of grief whatsoever..you wud stand by his funeral and merely stare at his corpse and only blink for every tear that you cant prodce for you have no heart..its certainly prooven right here right now for you are adressing your precious student who might someday be the next number 1 on hollywoods forbe list...a little midget..-.-

little midget finally says : he's taiping's dancer miss.botox-equals-the-nest-SKII...he's known all over for his dancing etc

THE END

so see...you are well known for what you do...like my friend..zhen..he's well known cause he's a great dancer...and no im not saying that i want to be well known for what im good in..the reason im doing this refleksi diri is...to find what i am good in..me...maegan tan jolin a.k.a 15's chocolaty buddy/baby...haha..wtv 15....anyway..like i said..i dont know what im good in..like..to the root..

i dont know what im good in... :'( i think i might cry...please hug me...hahaha

a. singing

...no way...malaysia idol...no wait..even tmgs idol...wont accept me..miss.botox-equals-the-next-SKII is the simon in our school.critical likewise...eew...and btw..i did not just make that nickname up...there literaly is a teacher and a reason for that name.

b.acting??

..well...my friends did compliment on me..cause i tend to be a drama queen..even at the slightest thing..but then again...i've never got the guts to act on stage...*gets into character..goes on stage....looks at crowd...suddenly.....a scream breaks the silence...omg!!fuck!she's out cold!!!*

c. track

..as you can see..im not the fattest runner in my school and frankly..i dont have time to train every single day

d.tennis

..same reason as the above

e.art

...i dont think im an art prodigy..i mean cmon..have you seen my works...not exactly monalisa material....

f.counselling

..so far this could be probably the only positive review from me personaly...im actly kinda good at talking to people and motivating them...im not bragging..just ask my clients..haha...but seriously...i dont see how counselling is a skill....hurrmmm

so...help me figure me out guys...im a lost birdie trying to find its way home....but there are no signs or traffic police guiding me...so mee birdie friends...help me out here...pls and tq..tata n peace out love :p

boredom inspires creativity

unique title ey ey ey??...hehehehe...hurrmm...im bored now...so..let me blabber about my day since i have nobody at home to blabber to..my mum doesnt give shit,neither does my bro..and my dad's at some dinner with a fancy name that serves really bad food...but you'll think they serve good expensive food cause of the cool fancy dinner name..which apparently..i know nothing of...so..it isnt that cool now is it..hehehe...xD..

okie...so like..i gotta tell you about this book i've just read...its a book but its not a book...it doesn't have the dullness of a regular book but yet its something that makes you seat down and actually pay undivided attention to it and also tis in book form. haha...you have no idea what i just typed did you?..haha..ok..the book is entitled 'You Don't Know Me' and...what i just typed up there..the part where you don't understand..right there...is simply a rip off of what's in the book..hmm...you still don't get me?? damn..i'd love to know what's in between your ears..cause it sure aint brain.. either that or..im crapping..hehe..whatever :) anyway i can't explain in detail what's the book about..like the storyline etc...cause i haven't read the entire book yet..but its 250% awesome+confusing(but unlike you slow minded hobits,i do understand what the book is saying)+kinda funny..so..if your library has this book...or if you even give a damn...go to your school's library and just ask any pengawas pss...except for tmgs mia...cause A.the book is curently borrowed...B.we're just to eff-ing lazy so find it yourself :p btw...i so fel in love with this book the second i read the sypnopsis... 

-extra warning for you naughty cheeky evil people-

never poke me or tickle me when im reading...i'll scream..and jump..like literally just injure anyone who is standing close..so..if you're planning to do what i JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO...A.DONT DO IT....B.keep all children of say..2-4ft away...they are kickable..flingable and just tossable...blooop!into the pond...

okie...next...

i so hibernated today..today i declare a special occasion to be among us...today shall be called fat and lazy day!...well..for me it is..i slept at 4pm plus till like 8pm plus..that could be a record for me under the category of afternoon naps...hehe...i woke up abruptly cause wel...i slept in a position that could have resembled a corpse...my hand was like on the end of the bed..i was motionless...somehow from far..you could've swore i was dead...anyway...i slept in those type of positions where like..someone just fainted dramtically..like..urrghh..nevermind..so...i only woke up cause my dad came and like felt up my wrist..just to check to see if i still had any pulse...OF COURSE...i woke up reluctantly and imediately from a dream that i know will not be a reality...so...that's just sad...why dad!why!?

hurrmmm...next....

im here writting this blog..hoping someone would just text me,nudge me,call me..i wouldn't even care if it was my mum..at least i need something to be occupied with..say the word 'study' and i'lll kick you..like not the type of kicks that makes the kicker release and uh~ sound...the type of kicks that makes people who are watching go 'phwooaaarrr'...hehehe...just kiding..but seriously...don't mention studying to me...but really..i guess i should be studying..but heck..i'll do it..uhmm...tomorrow....yea..ok

can't wait for saturday-Merentas Desa...in fact..this would be the first time im actually psyched for a school activity..normally i so can't be bothered to even fake a yay when they announce something that its compulsary for us students..who apparently have no right in voicing out our disagreements...to take part in...and don't get me wrong..i so freaking love my school...but like..this year..not only the building has been upgraded...and i gotta admit..kudos! puan noriza for finally not being such a cheapskape.. :) anyway..the only thing that dissapoint me..or just pisses me off is....

a. disiplianry system has been upgraded too
- girls with short hair...gotta have visible ears...we need to tuck our oh so bouncy hair behind our have-a-reason-to-be-covered ears...and that just makes us TMGS gals...go from..hotty to...convent...-.- cmon puan surinder(a.k.a Puan Sulkface/Mrs.frowns-are-so-much-cooler-than-smiles : cause that was the 1st impression i got from her...she doesnt smile unless she teaches you...she teaches me..but still..i dont wanna change her nickname...im lazy and thats the overall truth..she doesnt smile to every student she meets...cause to her...she thinks she's cooler when she's looking like a fierce tigress rady to pounce on anyone her radar catches who have hair-covered-ears and hair-touched-brows)...if you wana rip off a school just so we will look like the better school...rip off other schools like hua lian...or anything...anything except convent...get facebook...we have an anti-tmgs group that has less members compared to anti-convent members...what you're doing now will only increases the percentage where we start loosing out social life :(

- socks gotta be over ankles...welll...i dont really care bout this..all my socks are over and above my ankles...but it just sounds stupid to enforce this rule..as if we have diamond tipped ankles and the boney area.. -.-

b. kantin 50% and 50% shitty
-ok...the good part is..well..its deffinetely more cleaner and more efficient and more food and actual eadible fruits..so..kudos :)

-bad part : the 1st day of school when i walked in...full of 'phwoooaars' and ' omgs'...i went with it...hehe..till i saw what they served...they've divided the canteen...there's this section for fried food...(but more like fake food if you ask me..i only bought from that section once just to try...it'll be my first and last...when you see gallons of oil burst out from a spring roll a.k.a popiah...onto your plate the second you stick your fork into it...you just get a glimpse into the future..thats what i got anyway... maegan at age 17 : 270kg and increasing....id like to actually have a sex life thank you very much..no 270kg 17 year old would could even step out of their bed..let alone have sex in their life..i dont wanna die a virgin..so..no more friend food section...and btw...im not making fun of obese people...i actually like the biggest looser contestants...they have a heart compared to some so called glamorous aneroxia infected supermodels who think they're fat and ugly..ugly inside is a major deffinetely)

c.my boredom-inspired-creativity has reached its limits...so..im gona stop here...tata peeps... :)

bunch of pointless groups(that actually makes sense) i joined on facebook that i think deserve to be blogged and why :)

ok..so like..i've been bored and so can't be bothered studying these few days..but i DID anwyay..so don't judge me you niggers..hehe...so in the lazy phase period..i joined loads of froups on facebook cause i was bored...but most of them actually make sense..so since im not doing anything now and in a blissful bloggy mood...

1.Child Sex SLavery and Prostitution can go to HELL

- well, the title pretty much says it all..right?...fuck off us kids you perverts..you can burn and rot and have your intestines and private parts grinned out in hell...>.<..go get a day job that doesn't involve abducting virgins for money you bitches!

2. You're online and i wanna talk to you BUT im not saying HI first

- hehehe...well..im a shy little girl...so....*sits quietly in a corner and reads a book to cover up blushy cheeks*

3. I hate it when girls do the peace sign and kissy face thing in pictures

- hurrrrm...i don't mind if you do it BUT you dont act like a little bitch who aren't their age...like use words like 'kaa waa ii neh' and etc...but if you are a nice person and do thos 2 things..then ok fine :p

4.In memory of Junko Furuta : the girl who went through 44 days of torture

- yea i joined this gruop cause unlike the japanese bastards(who didnt join)..i have a heart...if yuo have a heart...go to my facebook profile and join..and read why i joined..its really scary and kesian-ish :(

5. yes there is a difference between 'i love you' and 'love you'

- DUHHHH there is SOOOOOO a difference between love you and i love you...for instance...try saying i love you to a gal/dude friend...she's gonna have a look on his face...you'll see...and say 'love u' to another gal/dude friend...he'l say 'love you 2' back...SEEEE!!!..there IS a difference...you dont say i love you to a friend...you say...love you...LIKEWISE...you dont say love you to your GIRL/BOYfriend...you say I LOVE YOU BEBEH..and then kiss em..hahaha...but really..there is a difference :)

6. Girls get called sluts, boys get a pat on the back. wtf

- so true...WHY!!!.......I DUNNO!!!...>.< eeeek!..guys should at least..like..get kicked in the balls or something...right?

7. hates when you get 'k' as a reply

- seriously...like really dude...dont you just hate that!?..well i do...for some odd reason..at elast 'okie'/'kk' but 'k'...BIG NONO for me...if you text me and i reply 'k'..it eaither means im pissed/hurt or i just cant be bothered replying you

8.Friends are like potatoes,eat them and they die

- i only joined this group cause its title is cute and i think the name 'potato face' is cute :)

9. saying 'oh i get it now' just so your teacher goes away

- i swear...the word 'teacher'...is just a mask...fot the ACTUAL word -----> BLABBERMOUTH (when they are not teaching la)

10. who said boys and girls cant be bestfriends
-honestly...is it a crime if my bestie is a dude..get a life fatface!..stop hovering over mine

11.i love it when i wake up in the morning and there's a new text message on my phone
- hmmmm..yeaaa...i dunno...i just like it..except those stoopid unecesarry messages from digi saying my credit just expired -.-

12. I wrote you a ****ing paragraph and all you gotta say is LOL?! >:(

-urrrghhh..hate it when that happens...you ungrateful bastards!

13. Dress your age you 12 year old whore

- so true dude...i go places and like..phwooaarrr...a hermit(short person) dressed as a slut thinking she looks sexy and like barbie...honey..a.barbie isnt like..what..how tall are you?? 3 ft??....b.you're 12..you don't even have the 'STUFF' to flaunt..if you have like "THEM JUNK" and like what..15?..then OK!...till then...wear t-shirts and quit stuffing tissues into your bra

14.Dont complain about writing 140 essays over the weekends,you assigned it!
- im sure ya'll 100% agree with me yea?? ahah..so..no neeed to describe shyt

15.Flinching in bed cause you thought you were falling
- yea i do that evertime i dream :)

16.Re-reading text makes you smile :D

- yea i DO do that to HIS texts before i delete them...hehe..don't blame me..im a girl..we do that soemtimes! :)

17. Because of  Edward Cullen,human boys have lost their charm
- NOT all boys...haha..just 3/4 of the male popullation

18.i love people who text back instantly
- who doesnt

19.Saying 'its ok' when you know its killing you inside
-hurrrmm....yea i know...i joined cause..wel..im like that :(

20. Hate it when i get a text but tis not from the person i wanted
-well duhh....you expect..'oh hello baby'...but instead...you get ' wdup bitch'...gaaawdd...so not fun...hahaha

21. Why is it that school goes so SLOW and weekends FLY by
- this is SO NOT FAIR...they should like have fri-sun off..hellloooo...you're a teacher..you don't need to work extra days...you're income will always be the same

22. Why are you yelling at me, the whole class is talking!
-YEA faggot...SHUT UP! its not your fault you teach stuff people don't get

23. Why do parents think its so easy to get straight As
- yea..why!?...hurrmmm....a question always left unanswered...

24.I have so much to say but as soon as you pissed me off/poach my heart i reply as just "ok"... :(

- yea...title just sums it all up...hmmmm...

25.why is monday so far from friday and friday so bloody close to monday
- i know!!...i hate mondays

26.Dont take gals for granted
-if you're a girl and you agree with me,cool...if you're a dude and you agree with me,cool! :) you deserve a hug

27.Why are we learning this,i'll never use this in the future
-hellloooo....i so don't need to use what..algebraic expressions...or...linear equations...or circles...where im going dude...and i soooo don't need KH or add maths...or moral..or sivik...honestly!!..for a smart bunch of people you board of educators are...you're pretty stooopid..like..waaay wayyy worse than a common imbiscle...my gaaawd

28. My bed is so much comfy in the morning
- ahhhhh~...dont you just feel like you're in a cloud when your alarm goes off...yea bebh thats how i feel...haha

29. ok SHUT UP!! YOUR HOT AND YOU KNOW IT!!!SO STOP SAYING 'im fat and ugly!'

-bitch look in a mirror...attention whore...you're thin and smoking hot and you soooo know it..the only reason you're saying that is just to a.make people feel bad so you feel better when they compliment you...b.attention whore much?!...hate byotches like that...

30.i love it when someone fails at insulting you
- classic self entertainment..ahhhh~

31. Girls get period pains,why dont boys get kicked in the balls once a month?
awesome!!!..ahaaa..too bad i dont have...lucky me i guess..which means i don't need to kick my bby's..mm....hardware..hehe...but hey..its no menopause k!!

well..that's all...i'll keep adding tata :)

Lokey's bday 200% awesome :D

HAPPY OFFICIAL BDAY LOKE LOKE!!!!

sincerely - chip-phin :)

hell yea!yesterday night was awesome....haha....twister is like the coolest yet most painful game ever...but we laugh at people when they're in pain and they laughed back..see..we live in such an evil heartless community..who happens to be friends :) hehehe...yea...so like..yday so ROCK...too much fod though...too little people...

people who went :

-yours truely

-zhen

-dennis

-aivan

-euni

-rach

-ali

-bro

-andrew

-chan

-mun kin

-kieeee

-qi luan

-eva

-eeeeeeeeeee wei

-jason

-hong le

-jireh

-jun lyn
-feli
-nicky

-and of course ----> LOKEY!!

haha

people who were supoz to go BUT DIDN'T (im gonna hunt ya'll down and strangle the crap out of you)

-APRIL!! (you know its no partaaay with you right...and we were playing TWISTER!!..a game where you get to pose obscene and people can't judge...hahahaha)

hmm..april ni hor...nemind den...haha..i can stranggle her anytime..haha
anyway..it was awesome...you should have been there kevin jay!!!..i invited you and you didnt go...major ISHK!
haha..tata..wana sleep d...nitez :)

Run For Life

track is love

ok so like..1st week of school is over..shitty beginning but ok la..not that bad....and you know what..i've realized something..i'm not that whimpy anymore..like..i mean..speaking in public etc...like..usually..im kinda shy to stand up and talk..but now its different..so like..YAY!...hahaha..anyway..that's not why im writing this blog

next week we're gonna start sports stuff..so our merentas desa is on the 16/1/2010...extra YAY.....its been ages since i've ran long distance..im not a long distance runner..im a sprinter..which explains the massive un-sexy-megan-fox-ish legs T.T ...boooo!!..but i don't mind..i like athletes legs...toned and ok..but not the type where its bigger than a persons waist la..that's just wrong...and sick...

anywaaay...im really psyched for merentas desa..i know i won't get 1st but i'l at least try to get something la..and i think the following week we have sukantara...which is like training for our school's hari sukan..which requires another YAY cause i wana run this year..unlike last year..jaga audio etc -.-...lamers!!...but here's the prob...i can't run...sedih-est thing ever...NO!!its not that im fat..im not fat!!not that fat at least!!..haha..im chubby :)...chubby is cute...suits with my chipmunk cheeks package..hehehe..ss-nye aku..so like...i think it's muscle cramp kot..i can't run...i can't walk without feeling the burning pain..can't walk up and down the stairs..might as well strap me to a wheelchair la damn it!...eeek...hopefully by tomorrow it'll be ok d la cuz i wana start training as soon as possible...

 

running is one of the best solutions to a clear mind

once a ballerina, always a ballerina

i fell in love with ballet the second i stepped into these shoes

i used to be a ballerina...but sadly i stopped cause i had to choose between music and dance at that time...piano and ballet...i couldn't learn both cause like it was toooo expensive...so...i chose music instead...till i found out something called THEORY existed...-.-

the reason im writing this blog is...well..a.i have nothing better to do....b.don't mention studying and pmr to me,i'l kick u...haha..not really....c.i had this like..feeling i guess..about dancing...hehe

i've always loved to dance...anything..from tarian tradisional to hiphop to new jazz(sexy mia...chehh wahh...aku brani dance..jz dat..klu dance new jazz in public..dpt gelaran hooker...so...in private looo..for the mirror to see)...but not breakdancing la..i used to be ok at it but like...major fail...so..leave that behind..not many girls do it anyways...i like hip hop ballet though...i kinda feel like i wanna restart ballet again...but like..urrghhh...expenses...and like my bones are so not flexible anymore..not as flexible anymore..hehehe...but urrghh,.,..so temptin!!!!!...why did i choose music over dancing again??..every beat...in every song...is like...urrrghh....reminding me i was a stooopid lil fagot cuz i chose music over dance,..soooo not braggin but i AM better at dance compared to piano...plus..i so cant be bothered practising scales and what not...and like...the exams are more expensive compared to ballet exams...urrghh....

i still dance ballet here and there..in private...hehehe...i kinda remember a few moves...but like..dont really present it that well...boooooooooo!!!!...

i fell in love with hip hop when i 1st joined cc3

i owe a lot to fga too...without the help of the seniors..aunty lai phong...dalbir...i wouldn't have been exposed to the world of hip hop etc..and i just love dancing for God...when i get into ballet shoes...or just dance with zhen,jared etc...its like..im in another world...like..a.u get to exercise and get that dancers body..hahaha...b.you get into the beat and its like a cloud that brings you to a world where music is everywhere...ahhhhh~

its an incredible feeling geting on the dancefloor...i really100 miss ballet..cause...all my life...i reckin that's the only one thing im truely good at...like well...i don't think i can sing like beyonce...haha...exagerating!!!...and...i duno if i can act although my classmates say i can...but i dont believe...and like..art...well...i don't really enjoy it as much as i do dancing...now im like...full of regret i stopped ballet...i've never been able to fully complete something i started.. :( im no triple threat...eeekk!..

zhen is starting latin with joan...and like..i kinda admire him...he sticks to what he puts his mind to..like dancing..we both share the passion for dancing...but like..unlike him...i never like..went fully with it...like..id stop halfway..but he goes all the way..so...yea i kinda do admire that about him :) dude if u see this and perasan...im gonna tarik your pipi till they bleed and i mean it..hahaha..>P

kk...well..im gonna go dance now..hehe..tata :)

its in red cuz im super angry + sad + tension...someone hug me pls :(

gosh...1,2,3rd day of school and already under pressure...

the teachers i got are alright...besides my BM teacher..she's a real fucking a-hole straight up...and its so fucking annoying that every period when the teacher comes in and like...P M R...heelloooo byotch we are aware....*sorry for vulgar words but...im pissed(mostly at myself)...sad...tension...lack of sleep...so...im allowed to...haha*....and its only january....damn....

ok so like....PMR is like already the major part where tensioning kicks in so like add in a spoonful of bad romance...wow...and i though this year was gonna be awesome...well..technically..i still think it will be but like...urrrghh....with the shitload of crap that's happening NOW...it seems improbable...but hopefully not impossible...what troubles me most is like...i don't know how to revise it..i mean like..i so can't be fucked to do it...like...so can't be bothered...gahhhh!!...like...i don't know where to start and like im always worried that if i start on one..then like...oh shit..what about the other one..like...i just wish i could just upload it all one shot straight up....aizzz...lately...i've been swearing a lot..but hey..can't blame a girl who is expected to be a perfectionist..especially by her unending-fear-of-failure conscience...not ss-ing but if you were me...only you'd understand what im saying here...i mean...hmmm...i dunno...everyone goes through tension times like these yea?..but like...oh my God..i just...urggh...i dunno....like..i really really need someone i can like lean on...my best friend just got fucking shipped off to the second class...fucking board of educators...and im missing her...and like...zhen is kinda no help..he gives me the same advice repeatedly which is so not working...urrghh....

the person i need so much right now...hmm...isnt here...and...like...hmm...why am i complainin anyway bout 'why isnt he here'....we're like not together also..and like..its so weird...love is complicating...when im not with him...i feel as though a part of me has died...but when im with him...its like its so vulnerable for me to die inside...like...being hrut unrealizedly...anyway...its not like the 1st time i've felt this way..like...sometimes he macam x care aje....sometimes aje la..not always...just...mostly..these few days...but...it still hurts though...like there's this stingy feeling in you and like its making you cry but ooohh!...fail!...u don't end up crying...*cries*...but not that i doubt this person but like...hmmm...i dunno..but i dont doubt him...just...hmm....i duno....i dont wana know la...just..tryna focus...but i'd still wish things were different...i dont know if it will be....but...hey..doesn't hurt to dream right... :(

ANYWAY...that's not really my problem now..well..maybe like...a bit....but MOSTLY...now...i don't know what to do now...most of it concerns my studies...like...ahhhhhh!!...how to process 3 years of knowledge before...march....my gosh...better get started...but fuck!!..dno where...dno what...form1/2/3...arrrghhh!!...

i need a hug :( ...and maybe a time machine......or...just a fork....just...stick it through my throat....
death is simple....quiet......life is hard...but i don't wanna die...just wish life gave me a chance to like..actually not write blogs like these...full of f-words and like...etc thats bad....anyway..sorry for the bad words... :(

im not always like this but like....fuck today!

bye and sowieeee me readers for vulgarity...hmm..is that even a word...haha..dunno....awhh..:(

p.s : this blog isnt suitable for children under the age of..13..so if you are 13 n 1/2...ge ou!...just get out!!...haha...kidding...but really..don't learn this so called f words...ooooo :o

hello 2010..bye bye 2009

wow...like looking back at all my post in 2009..its come a long way..to imagine all of that happen in a year..how i've got beaten down and rise from defeats...its not ss or perasan..but really..if you relly reflect on yourself..you'll just be amaze of what you've accomplished..how much you've changed as an individual...i've made mistakes in 2009..i've hurt people...i've hurt myself....i used to be a really soft kid...till tahap pathetic you can say..patheticlly soft..btw..did i spel that right?..haha..nevermind...but..in 2009..i've met people who have changed my life...i owe them the world..its not everyday we meet people like that...people like..dennis tan...lee hong zhen...aivan ong..nadia qistina...lee ee wei...and kevin jay....

well...lemme explaine one by one..how these people have changed my life...

1. Dennis Tan a.k.a Bugsy

he's just awesome...he's one of those people...one of the very few people..who truely has a heart of mostly pure gold....he puts others before himself....that's what i admire most about him..doesn't relly take others for granted...he's a very sporting person..his sense of humour is just..LOL..he's always been there for me if i need any advice of just a shoulder to cry on...the only one thing that annoys me about him is..he takes me for an atm sometimes...you useless bugger!...haha..always keep asking me to top up for him..but i figured...that's the least i can do...i mean..he's like my best friend...haha...but ey..seriously..its annoying dude...so if you see this blog...well..the truth will set you free right..haha...anyway...i love him like a brother and a friend and i dunno what i'll do without him...and ooooo!!..his sis too..april!!..haha..love em... (:

2.Lee Hong Zhen a.k.a beztie
he's my best friend...(: most awesomest yet hamsup best friend ever!!..haha..but i've adapted with the sometimes hamsup part..haha..he's not really hamsup...just when he sees sexy girls..haa..cmon man...you know its true...haha..he's the direction i follow to get home..haha..always there for me..althogh sometimes in the past...like 2009...he's hurt me a bit and we've argued a lot...but hey..he's my bestie and that's what hapens sometimes but we never give up on each other...haha..we're tight yo!..haha..but then..there's these rumours that im with him cause im always with him or like too friendly with him..wel...he's just my best friend..so..fuck off haters!...sorry for vulgar words but really..you people really piss me off..don't judge if you don't know the truth...you don't have the right to judge someone anyways...so..get out of here!..anywaaay...he's help me through out those painful times..he's a fashionista..haha!..well...he just think he is...haha..love you man :)


3.Aivan Ong a.k.a dear

my buah hati!!..hahaha...he's awesome too..he's like..this big cuddly teddy bear that loves to be hug...well..that's the impression i got....haha..he's an awesome bro,friend,dear...haha..he's like the most supportive person ever..and the funniest...haha..he's great to be around with..awesome hangout buddy!..love you dear muaax!!

4.Nadia Qistina

hmmm...nadiaaa...haha...well...as you guys know...i did have some probs with her...just rujuk the past blogs for those who dunno...well...lets just make it straight alright...i dont hate her now...i misunderstood her last time..but i never accused her of anything..so like..if you're wondering...how did she change my life in 2009..??..well..there's both good and bad way she chanegd me...you already know the bad part..haha...so the good part is...she opened my eyes to see that..not everything about life revolves around studies studies and studies...there's more to life...before meeting her..i was like..nerdy but not till tahap i don't have a boyfriend..haha..i was just the average nerdy...and i didn't like it..i didnt know how to enjoy my life to the fullest..but after meeting her..after the really bad part of meeting her...i realized the good aprt of meeting her..and that's what i just wrote above...hehe...so..nad...thank you..for opening my eyes...you're a good friend..just kinda psychotic sometimes...but hey...we're all human too...haha :)

5. Lee Ee Wei a.k.a pickles

picky!!!...haha...yea he's changed my life in a way that we always quarrel for fun...haha..like..he owns himself and by arguing with me..he owns himself MORE..which builds up my confidence..hahahaha...nah im just kiding..he's a good listener and an ok counsellor..hmm..but really..dont choose that as a career k...haha..:)

6. Kevin Jay a.k.a ex

hmmm...kevin....kevin....i don't know where to begin when i say you change my life...we're both aware of the bad things that happened between us..its a rough stingy spot for both of us so lets not revisit that k...hmmm...what i admire most about this person...is that...he didn't give up on me..he's the 1st to do that..and..that just touched my heart that..like...he's with me all the way through good and bad...like...if im sad..long term sadness..haha...he wont just walk away...he's there to stay...but..you know..its just kinda hard...its complicated between us...but he did change my life in a good way...i just..dont know how to express it in writing..in this blog..a girl's heart is as deep as the ocean right...its as mysterious as heaven and love...but i'll never forget this person.. :)

ok so like..this are the few people in my life who changed it...some in both good and bad ways...but its the bad ways that makes you wake up and realize the good ways...haha...these are the people who are actually meant to be kept as life time friends...but don't get me wrong..so are you guys...classmates...tuition friends...etc...haha...anyways...writing this blog..its like a dedication to the people above...thank you for changing my life..opening my eyes to better things..i love every single one of you for that...lets hope in 2010..we'll leave it in God's hands...may this year be filled with joy and happiness for all of us..ditch the sad part :)

tata <3

Why

Why...

Do you always do this to me?
Why...

Couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why...

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why...

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart...

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why